Birthdays; an occasion that stirs up feelings of excitement, anxiety and everything in between. Some years are major, other years feel bleh, every year reminds us of the universal truth, “time waits for no man!”

I’m a BIG leo, a 4-house leo to be exact, so my birthday is always a big deal to me, but this year I wasn’t feeling the magic. Still, I made a plan because everyone wants to feel special on their birthday, and I’m so glad I did. My weekend turned out to be just what the doctor ordered, and reminded me of how loved I am, a reminder I needed because I dont always appreciate my blessings. The experience had me reflecting on birthdays past, and pondering new rules for birthdays going forward.

Here’s what I’ve learned, and am applying to infinity and beyond.

Do you boo!

Birthdays are big days, so it’s vital to check in with yourself and get clear on how you want to spend it. Maybe you’re yearning for a solo trip, an elaborate dinner, or a care free night of dancing. Maybe you want to relax at a spa or on the beach. There is no wrong answer, only your answer. Your birthday can set the tone for the year, so make sure your plans are authentic to you, and reflective of how you want to feel.

Plan and pivot!

Life is busy, put it on the calendar so folks have time to make arrangements! Planning a bday can be daunting, but a last minute rendezvous can be even more stressful, and may not yield the warm fuzzy feelings you deserve to experience. If you need help from family or friends, express that clearly, and early. If they can’t participate, you can process and pivot ahead of time. Something, if not multiple things will go “wrong,” let it play out, go with the flow, and know that things are unfolding for your highest good.

Show Up!

As life goes on, it gets harder to prioritize others when you're managing your own LIFE. But one of the greatest gifts you can give is your presence. Spending genuine quality time with people matter more than you think. In the end, we don’t remember why someone did or didn’t show up, we only remember who was there. If you can’t make someone’s celebration, a rain check cashed in advance goes a long way, and reaching out and letting them know they are thought of does too.

Don’t Take it Personal!

You can’t always make it, and neither can others, so don’t take it personal when people don’t show up for you. Practice being your own best friend, and your feelings will become nearly un-hurt-able. In your life’s movie, the show goes on, no matter who the cast is.

Use your heart, and not your eyes!

Birthdays often reveal how people really feel. That friend you considered close felt cold, and when an old friend didn’t show up, a new friend showed out. When things come to light, it can feel dramatic, but it’s neither good nor bad, it’s what you needed to see. It helps you evaluate what to prioritize for the next year so you can move forward with clarity. Observe, but let it roll off your nerves.

Thank God for Everything!

Despite the icky feelings and projections getting older brings, it’s a blessing to see another year. So many didn’t make it. If you have anything in your life to be grateful for, focus on that, and watch it multiply.

To some a birthday is just a day, but every hour, every day, every week, is compounding into a lifetime- and it’s going faster than you think!

Embrace life’s experiences, do your shit, and celebrate yourself.

You deserve it.

HBD,

XoXo DotCom

New Rules: Another Trip Around the Sun