The Courage to Be Disliked: Reflections on Women's History Month
It’s women history month, a time to celebrate the many contributions women have made to modern society. It’s been a long road to liberation, one that we’re still walking, but we’ve made leaps and bounds from generations before us.
Image by @browniepointsforyou
A Brief Timeline of Women’s History in the United States.
The year is 1777, all women have lost the right to vote. America was setting the tone and letting women know this was a man’s world, and we just lived in it.
In 1848, New York passed the Married Women's Property Act. For the first time, a woman could enter contracts; collect rents, receive an inheritance, and file a lawsuit on her own behalf. Women essentially became individuals, though stipulations applied…
In 1963, The Equal Pay Act was passed, promising equitable wages for the same work, regardless of the race, color, religion, national origin or sex of the worker.
In 1969 Shirley Chisholm, of New York, became the first African-American woman in Congress. She served in the U.S. House of Representatives for 14 years, and was the first woman to run for president.
In 2024, some 60 years later, we still haven’t had a female president, but we’ve had many female G.O.A.T.S. in sports, politics, entertainment, and beyond.
At times it can feel like every time we try to lead, something keeps pulling us back. We’re in a dichotomy of sorts; while there are more qualified women than ever ready to excel, there are just as many yearning for yesteryear after girlbossing too close to the sun.
The cool thing is we can do both!
Whether you’re large and in charge, or cute and on mute, the modern woman can live however she wants. Unlike generations before us, we have the right to choose.
“I got my own swing” Mapei, Leader of the Pack
These days, a woman can be whoever she wants, whether that’s an entrepreneur, a stay at home wife, a mother, an artist, or all the above at the same damn time. We have options, and that’s a privilege that many before us would have only dreamed of.
But the price for authenticity is the judgment of others.
If you’re a boss, you’re too masculine, if you’re a homemaker you’re too traditional, if you don't have kids there’s something wrong with you, if you have too many kids, you're damaged goods.
The weight of the expectations can be crushing, leaving a lot of women feeling worthless and depressed because they haven’t achieved the checklist life.
It's a lot to manage, and even more to live up to, but we do have a tool in the box; and that is the courage to be disliked. An act that previously carried dire consequences, is now a privilege we can lean into whenever needed.
We can simply do whatever TF we want!
(I promise, this is the pro-choice movement your grandma actually dreamed of.)
You’re a boss, and people don’t like you? Doesn’t matter, as long as you get the job done, and treat people with respect.
Rather focus on yourself, instead of raising kids? It’s wise not to create children without the desire to love, nurture, and invest in them.
Want to raise a family, and be a homemaker in lieu of a career? Raising children, and maintaining a home takes just as much energy so Godspeed!
It’s your life, don't you forget. You’re the only one who has to live with your decisions daily, so make sure they feel good to you.
“At the end of the day, the day gotta end” Gloria, Hallejuah
As a woman, I have felt every pressure projected on me, as a Black woman I’ve felt it twice! No matter how much I try, I will never be enough for some in this life, and that’s ok, because I only need to be enough for me.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” - Eleanor Roosevelt
My only wish is for every woman to acknowledge that you don’t have to be what society wants you to be, or who your family told you to be, you don’t even have to be who you thought you were.
You only have to be yourself.
Accept the new!
-XoXo Dot Com
P.S.
Recommended Reading: The Courage to Be Disliked
Shoutout Valerie Previl (Each 1, Teach 1)