“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”

―Zora Neale Hurston,Their Eyes Were Watching God

It’s a new year. Page one of a new chapter, a new book for some. New Lessons. New Blessings. & New Perspective. No matter if this year was wretched, splendid, or somewhere in between for you, the one thing I’m sure it offered is growth.

Whether this was a year that asked questions, or year that answered, the fact is you made it, and a lot of folks did not.

For me, this was a year that asked questions, and though it was uncomfortable,it was undoubtedly momentous. 2022 forced me to put my big girl panties on, and the things I’m usually so good at avoiding were brought right to my door. I was so uncomfortable a LOT of the time, but it thrust me into my biggest spiritual growth spurt yet. I can say that I really grew up this year.

Here’s my biggest lessons of 2022.

Do it now, Do it later, Do it Never.

One of the handiest things in an adult’s tool box is priorities. They help you decide how to spend your valuable time and energy. Should I get with this, should I get with that? We all have things we’d like to do, and things we have to do, and how that plays for people like me (multi-passionate creatives and recovering people-pleasers) is interesting. Sometimes we feel like we need pursue every interest, and participate in everything, and while it’s true you should always maximize every opportunity, you just can’t do it all. So I found a new mantra that helps me move through my mile long to-do list, and prioritize what I need to do now, later, or not at all.

I’ve learned to ask myself the following questions; is this task aligned with my God-given vision, is this a shooting star opportunity (something that won’t happen twice,) and will it help me build, or maintain positive momentum?

Taking a beat to ask these questions before jumping into things has helped me move from a fear-based consciousness to an intentional state of being that ensures I’m making moves with the right intentions. Sometimes it is that serious, and needs to be handled immediately, sometimes you need a moment to pause and circle back, sometimes you don’t need to engage at all.

It’s all about discernment, and learning to trust that gut instinct.

The squeaky wheel gets the oil, the timid wheel gets the spoils.

This year forced me to advocate for myself in ways I’d never had to do before. After purchasing a condo in 2021, I was riding high. Decorating, hosting, just enjoying my queen space, and it was AMAZING but then the reality of homeownership kicked in.

I found myself with a mortgage, HOA fees, tax bills, backfiring pipes, a defiant & deaf upstairs neighbor with 4 dogs (yes, you read that right,) AND it was all on me to manage. Don’t get me wrong, I would not trade my sanctuary for anything, but it did not come without challenges.

When I began dealing with my HOA, the banks, higher ups at work, neighbors, contractors etc. I was timid, long winded, and always over-compensating . But through the myriad of trails and uncomfortable situations I had this year from chronic plumbing issues, neighbor grievances, career disappointments, a looming sense of existential dread, I had to learn how to speak UP in a way that conveys I mean business.

I learned to save my way with words for my blog, poetry, and scripts, but keep it short, sweet, and direct when handling business. Everyone has problems, and despite how valid your issues may be, nobody cares until they do, and once they do, it’s on you to make sure they see it through. As a human, it’s your right to take up space, but no one is going to save your seat.

3. Where attention goes, energy flows.

The only thing that gives anything power is your attention to it. It’s such a simple concept yet so hard to master. But the truth is, your destiny is truly in your hands. Scary but true. What you think manifests, what you focus on grows, so try your best to manifest the things you actually want.

I have spent so much time worrying about things that are out of my control. Whether it’s how people perceive me, or my inflated, false, or projected perceptions of others. NONE of it was productive, and ultimately left me feeling shitty. It also led me to manifest some of the exact experiences I did not want, simply because I was thinking about them all the time.

We’ve all been hearing this for years; your attitude determines your latitude, but I think it finally clicked for me. I’m only interested in things that are contributing to my highest good. Though it’s easier said than done, I am going to practice managing my thinking this year.

So what did 2022 reveal to you? Was it a year that asked questions or a year that answered? Let me know in the comments.

One thing’s for sure, we’ll see what’s about to happen next okay?!